Confidence is a virtue. A confident person is more positive, motivating, and happier than those who struggle with self-confidence. While we don’t want to make our children over-confident, instilling confidence at a young age can ensure that our children grow up to be confident, fulfilled adults. Building up your child’s confidence can be the key to their lifetime of future happiness and metal health.
The Dangers of Low Self-Esteem
All too often, we overlook the object of our kid’s self-esteem. When they have low self-esteem, we often assume it’s just a phase and that they’ll grow out of it eventually. However, more times than not, this is not the case.
Self-image is how people perceive themselves. Those with a positive self-image tend to view themselves better than those with a negative self-image. Furthermore, how you look, how you feel, and overall how you see yourself on a day-to-day basis decides how you act throughout your life. How you act, consequently, can impact how others see you. As such, people with poor self-images will be seen poorly by their peers, creating a negative cycle of low self-esteem.
Not only that, but poor self-esteem can also result in various mental and physical health problems. These include:
- Relationship problems
- Perfectionism
- Fear of judgment
- Poor resilience
- Lack of self-care
- Self-harming behaviors
- Increased risk of alcohol or drug abuse
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Anger
- And more
What About Over-Confidence?
Many people mistakenly believe that instilling confidence in their children will make them over-confident. And indeed, it is a fine line to walk. But you can instill a healthy form of confidence without making your child arrogant. What parents should realize is that the level of confidence they want to instill in their children is so that they may walk through life knowing all of their strengths and weaknesses, and how they may enhance these qualities they’ve attained over time.
The key to creating confident, but not over-confident, children is confident humility.
Discussed in his book Think Again, Adam Grant describes confident humility as acknowledging how little you know and how much you’re capable of learning. In other words, it means that you understand you don’t have all of the answers, but you have the capability to learn those answers.
Instilling Confidence
So who do you instill confidence, or confident humility, in your children? There are a number of ways.
Hone a skill
First, give your child opportunities to practice and master different skills. During these moments, they will, ultimately, fail or stumble. When this happens, give them encouragement and tell them how everyone must fail first before they get better. This will not only instill resilience, but honing a specific skill will also teach your child that they have the ability to learn and master various tasks.
Reward and praise your child
Second, rewarding and praising your child is crucial. You don’t want to overwhelm them, but giving them with praise and excitement when they show off a new skill can show your children how proud you are of them. Even if they’ve made a mistake, remind them how normal it is to fail and to praise their willingness to try and try again. Hearing and seeing these acclaims will not only make them feel good and capable, but it will continually urge them to move forward in the same direction of accomplishment and lead them to the realization that they can definitely be successful.
Let them fail
We’ve repeatedly stressed the importance of letting our kids fail. And indeed, it is one of the most important parts of instilling confidence. As we said before, the difference between confidence and arrogance is acknowledging our short-comings but understanding we can overcome them. Allowing our kids to fail will teach them that they’re not perfect, but it will also show them that they can overcome even the toughest challenges. Overcoming adversity is one of the best ways to instill confidence, as it shows children that they can survive and thrive in the face of hardship.
At Steadfast Academy, we believe in the importance of instilling confidence in our children. Contact us today to learn more about our programs!